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Beauty Up My Life

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

I Don't Know...

I am depressed. How depressed? I don't know. I get awfully depressed when I am alone or before sleeping at night. I think too much, people around me always tell me. Is it that way, or it's because what I think is right? That I don't have talents, looks or figure, personality and the intelligence? Yeah, seriously, I don't have any of it. Okay, I admit it. On the outside of my shell, I seems to be confident, nice, outgoing, bla bla bla... But on the inside, seriously, I don't know who or what am I. I get hurt easily and my emotions are affected easily. I try to be the best in everything, but I can't seem to do so. What I do, is never my best. I always think, if I put in more effort, would things be better? If I wasn't so rash, perhaps things would be more successful? So many ifs... But none could answer any of my questions. I really want to be somebody, somebody that is good at least in something. I am not good in anything, and I don't know where to start to improve myself. I want some changes in me, but I don't see any. Is it because I don't work hard enough or is it because I just don't have that strength to achieve it? I am so confused... Now only I realise, I don't know who or what I really am...

4 comments:

wwsoh said...

hmm... finally i know, many teenager, o shud say... many ppl in the age like tis hav the same confusion. at least i hav the same feeling b4. :D

did u ever look at someone outstanding, then u think y u r not as gd as him? or u can think lotz of ur bad thing but cant think even 1 gd thing???

hehe... last time i oso like tat la... of coz, if u can list out ur bad thing n manage to change it, then is gd la... but since it's 1 of ur personality, then y still so fan?? u jz need time, n the time havnt reach yet. tat's all.

jz remember, u r urself, not other ppl. ur bad n gd thing built ur personality. so u jz hav to accept it.

sometimes, bad thing also can b a gd thing. it's depend how u think it, get it?? :D

if next time u hav the same feeling again, try think of those ppl who worst than u. u'll realize lotz of ppl worst than u actually. mayb like tis, u'll feel better. ;)

plue-chan said...

fuiyo...since when u became so "long wind" wan? :P

wwsoh said...

wat "long wind"??
"long gas" rite???
:p

plue-chan said...

aiya same la... :P