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Beauty Up My Life

Saturday, December 31, 2005

Emo Me

Read my old blogs. My first blog was on February 24, 2005. It was a Thursday. Posted up at 11.31pm. My old blogs were long and. Not short like now. Perhaps I've gotten lazier already. Haha... that's just so like me.

Life's complicated. No matter how simple I want it to be, it's still too complicated for me to handle them on my own. Always need assistance from friends and family. Guess that's why I haven't really mature and still as childish as always.

But university friends says I am mature. But my hometown friends don't say so. Even my family don't think so. So who's teling half bake lies? My university friends? My hometown friend? My family? Ah... perhaps I am stuck in between. Certain situations I think I can handle it pretty well. But most of the time, I can't. I still get panicky and need other people to help me solve them. That's why some people say I cannot handle the pressure and not emotionally stable. I am not emotionally stable. That I know. I am very very sensitive towards how people see me, think of me and treat me. Don't know why. I wish I am not like this, perhaps life will be easier for me. But sadly, it's not. I am not someone like that.

My university friends says I am pretty and I am not on the fat list, but on the "okay-body" list.Which means not too fat or not too thin. But my mom says I am bloody fat. My hometown friends never think that I am pretty and they always say that I am FAT! Some of my university friends say I got very nice eyes. But when I told my mom about it, she said "No, your eyes are just normal. It's not outstanding or pretty at all. Your friends didn't see other eyes that are prettier." And she laugh about it. I told my sister the same thing, she also said the same thing like my mom. How depressive. See, I told you guys that my eyes aren't nice! I wish I can accept the compliments you guys gave me, but somehow, if I don't get the same compliment from my family, I don't think I can really accept the compliment. Aih... wish I am not like that...

This is getting long. Feeling sleepy already? I guess you are. Better stop now. I will write more on the next post. Told you that I am a bit on the emo side today, Jason. :P

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