there are days when you find yourself thinking whimsical nonsense, even when you are suppose to stay focus and work.
it happens very frequently to me.
at night before i sleep i think of work and some other weird little stuff.
in my dreams, or maybe i wasn't dreaming but in fact my brain is still thinking about those odd pieces and stuff.
it's so very exhausting you know.
i don't know what's call inner peace anymore.
i feel like i am being haunted by work. by life. by bills. by stress. by my blog.
not this blog. the other blog.
everything seems like it's a burden right now.
i had longed for the days when i am no longer being confined to the tiny town i am from, free to go as i will, free to do what i want.
but now, i just feel like being home 24/7. i don't need to meet people. i don't need to be tough or put on a mask. i am free just by being at home.
how i laugh at my stupidity. how i laugh at my silly longing that i had when i was 17.
i am free to do what i want. free to go where i want. but yet, i feel like i have been confined even more than ever.
confined by life. it's never ending work. it's never ending stress. it's never ending need for money.
maybe i am just whiny and all, but sometimes i really just don't want to be in this circle anymore. i have no peace at all.
i feel so tired, so angry, but so emotionless sometimes, till i don't even know what's crying like. or maybe i shed tears too easily now?
i guess, i never really wanted to grow up.
i want to be peter pan and live in NeverLand.