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Beauty Up My Life

Monday, October 19, 2009

random thoughts on a blue monday

there are days when you find yourself thinking whimsical nonsense, even when you are suppose to stay focus and work.

it happens very frequently to me.

at night before i sleep i think of work and some other weird little stuff.

in my dreams, or maybe i wasn't dreaming but in fact my brain is still thinking about those odd pieces and stuff.

it's so very exhausting you know.

i don't know what's call inner peace anymore.

i feel like i am being haunted by work. by life. by bills. by stress. by my blog.

not this blog. the other blog.

everything seems like it's a burden right now.

i had longed for the days when i am no longer being confined to the tiny town i am from, free to go as i will, free to do what i want.

but now, i just feel like being home 24/7. i don't need to meet people. i don't need to be tough or put on a mask. i am free just by being at home.

how i laugh at my stupidity. how i laugh at my silly longing that i had when i was 17.

i am free to do what i want. free to go where i want. but yet, i feel like i have been confined even more than ever.

confined by life. it's never ending work. it's never ending stress. it's never ending need for money.

maybe i am just whiny and all, but sometimes i really just don't want to be in this circle anymore. i have no peace at all.

i feel so tired, so angry, but so emotionless sometimes, till i don't even know what's crying like. or maybe i shed tears too easily now?

i guess, i never really wanted to grow up.

i want to be peter pan and live in NeverLand.

1 comment:

The Never Fairy said...

At the very least you can visit with Peter Pan again...
...there's a novel out that's based on Barrie's own idea for more adventure.

Click my name to see!