there are days when i just feel like screaming, because my day started with a big shit.
and there are days when i just feel like smiling, because my thoughts were clear and nothing was bothering me.
but more often than not, i'd end up screaming and yelling almost everyday. especially workdays.
don't i get tired from being angry all the time? i do, honestly. why don't i just close one eye and hope the day passes off peacefully? i want to, honestly. why can't i just be like some people, who pushes their work over to you, hoping you can work it out (when actually they can do it themselves)?
because, i'm just not like that.
i get angry and pissed because i still believe you can do so much better. i still have a bit of hope that you can be better. if i couldn't be bothered, that's because i don't care. and you know how it's like when i don't care. i simply give up and let you die. DIE YOU IDIOT, DIE!
i can't just shut an eye and pray everything goes well because it just won't. flowers don't bloom if you don't work for it, although we can always pray for a miracle to happen, but hello, you aren't living in a fantasy world. miracles don't happen just like that, it happens when you had worked hard enough.
and work. well, if it's my job, i'll do it. but please don't be an idiot and make me do shit. not fair to me. not fair to you. why are you getting paid for something you don't work on? not fair right? well, at least for me I get some experience. LOL. but i really prefer a better pay. I am that materialistic. :P
but in the end, i still scream and sigh and cringe everyday. it's not that i'm not happy, just...
well, i like being angry.