such funny feeling

as i grow older, i think i become more critical. more abusive. more stubborn. more... negative.

i hardly see that happy twinkle in my eye, without that dreadful sign of weariness.

i hardly feel genuinely happy anymore, without dreading the next bad thing to come.

it's a funny feeling i am feeling right now.

i just don't know what to describe.

am i just being an idiot?

or maybe i am just overly sensitive, indecisive that lead to this mental fatigue?

or maybe this emotion fatigue?

where i don't feel the spirit or the energy to go on anymore...

growing hard is hard... but growing up happily is even harder...