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Beauty Up My Life

Thursday, December 23, 2010

merry christmas with some bitterness

maybe it's christmas, i'm feeling... just a tad bitter.

maybe a tad bitter is an understatement.

because, i think i am bitter. about everything that's happening.

i don't think i am blaming anyone or anything, neither i blame myself, it's so not justifiable to blame myself because i did try to make things work, but maybe not enough, but well, things happen.

anyway, about this bitterness i am feeling.

maybe it is really because it's christmas, and I don't feel the hype, the cheerfulness, the merriness or the happy vibe. work has been crazy, it's so crazy that i just can't believe it's year end, like come on, everyone's out partying or relaxing, while i am slogging, how awesome is that?

drats. i am blaming someone/ something now for the bitterness i am feeling.

oh ho ho ho. how contradicted.

and there i thought to myself, i am not one to do that.

it's a year end where i don't feel happy, cheerful, or anything positive. at least now when i am in my room, typing this entry, that's how i feel. maybe solitude is something i should always avoid if i don't want to feel so negative. but you know, i love being alone, when it's cold and rainy, and i have the whole space to my own.

you see, that's how contradicted i am.

well, merry christmas and a happy new year to all of you :)

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